This episode was recorded on my horizontal does america tour in November of 2017. I took to the road in a little blue car and drove solo around the country with two intentions: to feel as free as I could possibly feel, and to lie down and record as many episodes with fascinating humans as I could manage.
In this quickie episode, recorded right before she headed in to therapize people in the morning, I lie down with the sex therapist Dr. Cat Meyer. Dr. Cat is a spritely, sensual whirligig, with big green eyes and big brown hair and a slender, bendable body. She’s a yoga teacher, a creatrix, a playful creature, a dancer of her prayers, a licensed relationship therapist, and a reiki practitioner. If you live in Beverly Hills, where Dr. Cat sees people in her private practice, she could be your sex therapist.
Cat’s own podcast, eatplaysex, which just sounds like whipped cream in podcast form, doesn’t it? explores subjects in the very same wheelhouse as this one. On her Instagram, sexloveyoga, which I follow voraciously, and I suggest you do as well, she shares the writing she spins from thoughtfulness, self-inquiry, gentle nudging, and a vision she holds for us all to open the most profoundly to our deepest longing, pleasure, and confidence… her posts are little gifts for us, and each serves as a reminder of her mantra, “I choose myself powerfully.”
Find her on the interwebz at sexloveyoga.com and catmeyer.com.
We first met at a birthday party in Ojai, a 40th birthday extravaganza that was more like a miniature festival than any birthday party I’d ever seen, complete with food trucks, a musical amphitheatre carved of rocks like a miniature Sedona, an elaborate sensual ritual invoking the energies of masculine and feminine to infuse the man we were celebrating, and a giant bathtub truck with a Dr. Bronner’s “foam experience,” like the one at Foam Against the Machine at Burning Man.
The amount of glorious attention and effervescent love paid to this man made me burn with a heady potion of envy, admiration, and inspiration. “I want people to come together over me in this way,” I thought. “I want to facilitate this experience for someone else, too.”
Inside the house by the pool, in a room made for cuddling and love, festooned with pillows and soft things, people were practicing AcroYoga. Having taught for so many years, and drifted away from the practice for many more, I sometimes move away from people who are in the throes of it, the ones who fly people at every opportunity, every park visit and ecstatic dance and house party. But this time I was drawn in. I offered a therapeutic flight to a friend of my friend. His first. That looped me in as one of them and built a bridge for them to talk with me. One of them was an AcroYoga teacher as well. When I told him about the podcast, he said, “Oh my God, There’s someone here you HAVE to know.” And he called Cat over.
Six months later, we were lying on a shaggy rug in her living room, her pet bunny hiding out in the corner, California morning light insistent through the blinds, shaking off sleep and recording this story.
We talk about threesomes and the right to change your mind, delayed emotional responses, how the point of sexual no-return is an illusion, being satisfied before orgasm, asking ourselves if it still feels good, looking for yeses and nos in the body as expansions and contractions, and how meditation and affirmations don’t have to look like what we were taught they look like.
If you enjoy lying down with us, this is how you can make sure I continue to create independent, uncensored, ad-free radio. Become a patron of the horizontal arts. It’s like a subscription service, crowd-funding for artistic patronage. You offer a monthly contribution, from $2 a month on up, and you get a level of special access to me and my work. You know that you are a direct catalyst for making the world a more intimate place. And I do a happy happy dance, and then get horizontal again. Patreon.com/horizontalwithlila
I have big plans, big big dreams for what’s next in the world of horizontal, and you can help me happen it.
Also, I send what I call “missives” to my email list once a week. It’s like lobbing a thousand messages in a bottle out to sea. I share my writing (the most recent missive was about my abortion and the right to choose), I share resources from the episodes, I share saucy photos, and other miscellaneous bits of interest, like that time I was in Playboy … talking about dating outside of your political party in the era of Trump. To receive all this goodness directly in your inbox, sign up on horizontalwithlila.com and add lila@horizontalwithlila.com to your address book, for good measure. We don’t want it getting lost in some “updates” tab or something, do we? Indeed no. No we do not.
And now darling, come lie down with us, and a little white bunny.
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Season Two has been edited by Chad Michael Snavely. Check out his slew of podcasts on chadmichael.com. Shana Shay drew my sensual cover art, and you can hire her through 99designs. And Alan Markley created my intro music. He’s plasticcannons on Instagram.
On next week’s horizontal, I lie down with Wry of Wry Polytalks, a super-entertainer, a clear-talking, thoughtful advocate for alternative relationships, kinky stuff, destigmatizing conversation around mental health, and the host of many, many a panel.
His voice is like whiskey and a rec room with burgundy leather armchairs. You’ll see.
Until next time, I wish you someone to love, something to do, and something to look forward to.
It’s been a pleasure getting horizontal for you.
Welcome back to horizontal! I missed you. This is the podcast of intimacies recorded while lying down, wearing robes. It aims to make private conversations public in order to dispel shame, diminish loneliness, and alchemize connection.
After a hiatus, during which I went to Burning Man, also known as: surviving a giant art project in the middle of the desert, and then came home and felt very sad to no longer be out adventuring slash surviving said art project in the middle of the desert, and then questioned nearly everything about my life, as is, apparently, rather typical, I’m back on schedule!
This episode marks a couple of horizontal milestones. And because I’m rewiring my nervous system for joy, I’m committed to celebrating successes of every size and volume. So… This is episode number 50! And in a bit of neat numbership, horizontal just surpassed 50,000 downloads. Thank you so much for listening, and for sharing this work with your people. Don’t stop. Keep sharing it. Let’s have a revolution!
For all things horizontal, including photographs of me horizontal-in-unexpected-places, intimacy resources, and my writing (some recent titles have been “the Wednesday night meltdown,” “the right to choose,” and “brave on the rocks, or, choosing to open when you want to shut but you know it would really be better if you opened”), sign up on horizontalwithlila.com
In this episode, I lie down with Pamela Samuelson. Pamela is a bodycare witch, a sex ed teacher, a renegade, an instigator, a libertine. Or perhaps she’s really more of a wizard than a witch. A sexy female Dumbledore minus 50 years. Gravitas and twinkly eyes.
As a bodywork specialist, she is trained in sexological bodywork, holistic pelvic care, and the Arvigo techniques of Maya Abdominal Therapy. This means that she works on the pelvis and the pussy, inside and out. She's a warrior of bodily empowerment, Rosie the Riveter with a speculum.
We first met the day before we were supposed to record, in the gender neutral bathroom at an event called Cycles & Sex, which is about pussies, not bicycles. Pamela was leading roomfuls of women in a campaign called “Take Back the Speculum,” which is part anatomy lesson, part show and tell, and part hands-on practice. Pamela shows the sexual anatomy of her own body, by inserting a speculum, and allowing the participants to see her cervix with a flashlight. Then, the participants are given a speculum, and get to try it on their own. I didn’t do it that day. You’ll find out why in the episode.
In this part of our conversation, we talk about ambiverts, cervical self-exams, femme-drag and bespoke suits, wonder women, moving people’s wombs into a more optimal position, arousal vs. wetness, the husband stitch, and Pamela’s viral rant.
My dear listener. Come lie down with us.
Patronage is what makes it possible for me to continue making independent, uncensored, ad free homemade radio. When my crowd-funding grows, I’ll be able to dedicate myself to intimacy work. I believe that when we make private conversations public, intimacy becomes contagious, and the more intimate relationships we nourish, the happier our lives.
For $10 a month, you’ll get access to the love poem of the month, a private recording of one of my favorites. For $15 a month, you’ll get a ticket to a live show, or access to a secret episode, and so on. Be part of making the world a more intimate place. Patreon.com/horizontalwithlila.
Season Two has been edited by Chad Michael Snavely. Check out his slew of podcasts on chadmichael.com. Shana Shay drew my sensual cover art, and you can hire her through 99designs. And Alan Markley created my intro music. He’s plasticcannons on Instagram.
Until next week, may you have someone to love, something to do, and something to look forward to.